This morning at 5:30am I felt the earth move under my feet. (You’re welcome!)
Well, actually, since I was prone, I felt it move under my whole body and it literally shook me awake. Like I imagine the crumbs in a ‘shake & bake’ box feel. It must have lasted for less than ten seconds but it felt markedly longer. It was remarkable really, being in the midst of it, looking around to see if any of the structure of the house was breaking or if stuff was falling off the walls… deciding whether to move His Lordship to safety or if he was safe where he was… right there beside me. And then all was still and silent once more. I found out later that it was a 3.5 on the Richter scale and it’s epicenter was just a couple of miles away. So we felt it quite strongly. In fact, strongest quake I’ve felt yet. (Knock on wood.)
It made me think though.
About everything that’s going on in my life. How busy and hectic and tough it’s been and how easy it’s been to start believing that this was, simply, just our lot. There’s a knife’s edge difference between acceptance and resignation and I think I was starting to get a little comfortable with the resignation side of that edge. And it’s not what I want. So, the shaking this morning reminded me that life’s too short to waste it being unhappy or dissatisfied.
There’s so much to be grateful for and there’s every reason for me to believe that things can and will get better, that I can have the life I desire. There’s far too much that I want to do and see and feel to resign myself to misery. So. I’m recommitting. To focusing on what I love about where I am right now, accepting what I don’t love while I work to change it and being grateful for all of it. That acceptance part seems pretty key. And it’s the part that seems easiest to forget about.
God. Just writing this has me distracting myself. Thinking I should just get up and do something else. But I want a record of this here. That I felt that earthquake and that it shook me up. That I will not resign myself. And I am grateful for it.